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Holly Rotman Ashworth
Holly's Teen Advice Blog

By Holly Rotman Ashworth, About.com Guide to Teen Advice

Just in Time for Mistletoe Season: Kissing Advice

Friday December 18, 2009
December is officially kissing season.

Why? First, there's the mistletoe hanging in every doorway. And second, there's the cold weather. There's nothing like a little snow on the ground and chill in the air that makes people want to snuggle.

If you need a little refresher course on how to kiss - or if you're still waiting on that first kiss and want to make it perfect - you've come to the right place:
Mistletoe Kiss
This guy know how to work his mistletoe.

Are You a Teen? You Must Be a Druggie

Tuesday December 15, 2009
The federal government just issued its annual report about teen drug use, and almost all the news is good. Cigarette smoking is at an all-time low; way less teens are doing meth, speed, LSD and cocaine than in recent years; and teens who drink are binge drinking less. The only bad news is that prescription drug abuse is up for 10th graders. Marijuana use, which was declining in the 90's, has stayed the same for the past 5 years.

So what's the problem? No one wants to believe that teens are doing less drugs. Look at how the headlines focus in on the tiny bit of negative news: One reason for this is that negative headlines are more attention-getting than positive ones. For instance, look at the one I wrote for this article. (Well, okay...at least mine's supposed to be a joke.)

But another reason is that adults tend to focus on the mistakes of teens, rather than applaud them for what they're doing right. You never get thanked for making curfew 20 days in a row - but your folks will never forget the 21st night, when you're two hours late. In the same way, the people who skimmed this report barely acknowledged the good news and zeroed in on the kind of behavior they expected from teens all along. Teens are doing more of these kinds of drugs, so all teens must be up to no good.

(And the reporters certainly don't mention that the percentages of teens doing cigarettes, pot and other drugs are down from when the they were teens, in the 70's, 80's and 90's.)

What do you think about all this? Do the headlines surprise you at all? Leave a comment!

What Advice Would You Get From Future You?

Sunday December 13, 2009
No matter how carefully you make your choices now, you're bound to do a lot of stuff that you'll regret when you're an adult. You just can't avoid it.

What'll those regrets be? Will you wish you hadn't stressed out so much about school? Will you wish you'd worked harder on your friendships, or spent less time trying to win over that person who doesn't like you back?

(Which, by the way, are all things I regret from my teen years.)

You won't know your mistakes till you've had enough time to look back on them.

But you might get some hints from Dear Me, a new book where celebrities give advice to their 16-year old selves, or the companion blog, where ordinary folks do the same thing.

If you've got some time, it's worth checking out the blog. It could help you figure out what you should change before you grow up and it's too late.

Have Your Parents Had the "Sex Talk" With You Yet?

Wednesday December 9, 2009
Parents everywhere are told they have to talk to their teens about sex, but they don't always listen. New research shows that a lot of them wait so long to have the sex talk, by the time they do, their kids are already having sex.

Why do they wait so long? Because this stuff is just as awkward for them as it is for you. Which is a shame, because teens who are open with their folks about sex generally tend to make safer and smarter decisions.

If your parents are too nervous to breach the subject, toughen up and talk to them first. Yes, it'll be awkward, but you'll get some very valuable info that's perfectly tailored to your life.

How to Talk to Your Parents About Sex

Are Teens Angrier Than Adults?

Monday December 7, 2009
A new survey found that the younger you are, the angrier you tend to be. They only survyed people 18 and older, but I have a feeling that teens' anger ranks just as high as the young adults.

Why? Because anger is caused by stress, and your teen years are some of the most stressful years of your life.

You're getting it from all angles - from your teachers who assign homework like their class is the only class in the world, from your parents who don't know how to talk to you now that you're not a kid, from your coaches who don't accept any excuses, from your friends who sometimes want you to be something you aren't. All that stress can shorten your temper and make you explode.

When you get angry, try to remember that while it's a totally natural feeling, it's way easier to solve your problems with a level head. For more on that, check out these anger management tips for teens.

Also, a big part of controlling your anger is controlling your temper. Here's how to do it.

10 Ways for Teens to Be Green

Thursday December 3, 2009
Winter isn't the easiest season for being green. You blast the heat, you drive everywhere 'cause it's too cold to walk...and then there's all the non-biodegradable Christmas junk that everyone buys everyone.

That's why you have to make an extra effort to remember the environment this season. Here's where to start:
teens walking in winter Walking: more fun than taking a snowmobile.








Which Love Songs are Hazardous to Your Health?

Wednesday December 2, 2009
Blasting the love songs might do damage to more than just your ears. According to a group of teens led by the Boston Public Health Commission, some songs spread the wrong message about love and might encourage music fans to have unhealthy relationships.

The teens helped rate the least healthy songs of 2009, based on themes like respect, equality and trust. Topping their list is "Break Up," where singer Mario begs his girlfriend to stick around by trying to get her drunk and reminding her about how he buys her Gucci stuff.

Also on the top 10: "Paparazzi" and "Bad Romance," both by Lady Gaga. I guess being a style icon doesn't exactly make you very good with relationships.

You can see the whole top 10 list here.

If you're looking for some dating help, how about turning down that stereo and finding the answers at the Dating & Love Advice Hub?

Lady Gaga
Don't run to Lady Gaga for relationship advice.

How Do You Overcome Feeling Lonely?

Sunday November 29, 2009
You know the feeling: you're all by yourself, it feels like no one's called you in forever and you're beginning to wonder if you have any real friends, anyway. You're feeling all-around worthless and down on yourself.

I know you know the feeling, because literally everyone on earth feels that way sometimes. Even the people you'd least suspect.

Someone at the Teen Advice forum has been feeling that way for a while, and he needs your help getting out of it. What do you do to boost your self esteem and make yourself feel better?

If you've got some advice for him, share it here at the forum.

Side-Hugs: Because Real Hugs are Too Sexy?

Wednesday November 25, 2009
Two girls demonstrate the Christian side hug.
As if premarital sex wasn't scary enough for some Christian youth groups, there's a new enemy to worry about: hugs. Yep, hugs.

Apparently, the potential for crotch-to-crotch contact with "front hugs" is too risqué for some people, so they advise that teens hug side-to-side, using just one arm (as if you're posing for a picture together). It's called the Christian side hug. And while there's no danger of crotch action, it might not give you that warm fuzzy feeling.

Still need convincing? Maybe this side hug gangsta rap video - which rhymes about how hugging is only for married people - will change your mind.

I think it's a big bummer if some teens avoid hugging their friends because they're afraid of being un-Christian. A few hugs might have ulterior motives behind them, but most of them are good, clean fun. And besides, sometimes nothing but a hug - a real hug - will do.

Are Your Favorite Shoes Bad for Your Health?

Tuesday November 24, 2009
As a teen, your feet are still growing and developing - which means that the wrong kind of shoes can teach your feet to grow wrong, leading to lifelong foot, knee and even back pain.

The worst culprits? According to the Daily Mail, any shoes without proper arch support - like slip-on canvas shoes and ballet flats - can do the most long-term damage to your feet.

On the flip side, the healthiest shoes you can wear are sneakers (as long as they're worn with socks and tied tightly) and any other mostly-flat shoes that support your arches and hold your feet in.

That doesn't mean you need to toss all your favorite shoes. Just be smart about it - don't wear your heels or ballet flats every day, especially on days that you'll be doing a lot of walking. And when you wear your sneakers, be sure to tie those laces nice and tight.

Read more about how to have healthy feet and still look stylish.
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