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Will my broken heart ever feel whole again?

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Question: Will my broken heart ever feel whole again?

Answer: Another regular inquiry at Teen Advice this one is not as simple to answer as the last question. When we feel broken hearted it is all too easy to wallow in the emptiness and pain and forget that as with everything in life this to shall pass. Yes, it is true; you will get over your broken heart and live to love again. What is not as certain is how well you will heal. While the pain of every love lost does eventually pass we do carry scars. Some of these scars are nothing more than memories of events with no recollection of the emotions those events once invoked. In these memories we learn lessons. We learn what we will and will not tolerate in relationships. We learn what our limits are, emotionally speaking, and we learn about our capacity to love. We learn what we want and don’t want in a partner, the traits we find attractive and those that we can live without. By trial and error we learn what it is we really want in our love life and that makes all the heartbreaks worth the pain. We find out new things about ourselves when we lose love. Some of those things are hard to face because being human we are not perfect and when a relationship ends we are forced to confront our own role in its demise. Relationships never ever end because of one person. It is an intricate web of many different factors contributed by both parties that determines whether a relationship works out or fizzles out. By treating a break up as a learning experience we can stop ourselves from making similar mistakes in the next relationship. Think of it this way, each love relationship, or any relationship for that matter, helps us grow and mature, if you have but one relationship in your whole life just how much growth will you achieve? How will you ever know if this one relationship is the one to make you happy and whole? How will you know what it is to love if you have never lost love, never known just what you would be giving up if you let the love go? While it may be lame to hear nursing a broken heart is an essential part of growing in to a healthy well-adjusted adult who can have healthy well-adjusted adult relationships, it is the truth. So in short, yes your heart will heal and you can rest assured that you will be the better for having survived it.

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