Ask the Love Lady

Few things in love are more intoxicating than the intense feelings of attraction and desire that come in the early stages of a relationship. These feelings bond two strangers together allowing them to feel close when in fact they are not close at all. They are important feelings to have because they put you in the position of wanting to know more about a person, of wanting to be truly close to them, and these intesne feelings drive you to spend time together which inevitably brings you closer. Once the "la-la-love" feelings of the early stages pass many couples feel let down and long for the simpler times when lust and desire drove their every interaction. While longing for the strong feelings of a new attraction is normal the reality is that as you get closer to a person you not only learn more about what you like in them, you start to see things you don't like so much. A relationship has passed its first milestone when you get to the point of wanting to be together in spite of the things that you do not like about one another. Most relationships fizzle out at this point but the solid ones, the ones built on substance rather than raw emmotions grow better at this point.

It is very easy to confuse those intesne feelings of attraction for love but they are not love at all, they are lust. You can not truly love somebody that you know nothing about. You can not love somebody based only on a physical attraction. You have to know a person, warts and all, before you can really say you are in love. What you are experiencing right now is that milestone moment. You need to ask yourself, do I really care about this person or was I only in it for the lust-rush? If yoy do really care and you get past your need to feel those intense feelings you will find that the next stage of the relationship is even better than the last. It is merely a matter of shifting your expectations and focusing on what you have gained rather than what you feel is missing. Those intesne feelings of desire come in waves and they are much more satisfying when you really love the person you are with. Give it time, figure out your true feelings and everything else will happen on its own. Love is always better than lust.