For many women surgical abortions are more emmotionally difficult than medical abortions, particularly late term surgical abortions (at 15-19 weeks). While some people feel normal, even relieved after the procedure, others experience intense emmotional turmoil. The most common initial reaction to abortion is relief, waves of other emmotions can follow, but relief is the feeling reported most often by women who have just had an abortion. There is no way to predict how you will react after the abortion so it is essential that you go to your follow-up visit and get some sort of counselling afterwards, even if it is counselling on the phone via a support hotline. In the USA you can access post-abortion support free by phone at The National Abortion Federation Hotline 1-800-772-9100 Monday-Friday 8am-10pm, Saturday-Sunday 9am-5pm (EST).
The more certain you are that abortion is the choice for you, the more you feel in control of the decision (ie: your parents or boyfriend have not pressured you), the more support you have from others, and the more informed you are about the procedure before having it, the less severe your emmotional reaction will tend to be. This is not to say that people who feel certain do not later have regrets, only that the more thought you have given the issue and the more time you have had to deal with and reconcile any regrets, the less likely it is that you will feel shocked and confused about what has been done. Abortion can not be undone and too many people who enter in to an abortion under pressure from others or without really being sure they want to have one end up feeling intensely distressed. This must be your decision and you must be comfortable with it, you are the one who has to live with it.
If you are comfortable with the decision you will most likely feel relieved that the ordeal is over and that the unwanted pregnancy is no longer a concern. You may feel some regret, sadness, loss, anger, confusion or depression. On the other hand you may feel no negative emmotions at all, in fact some women report feeling "like me again" after the abortion. Any of these reactions, or any combination of these feelings, are normal. There is no one "right" or "wrong" way to feel after an abortion. The range of feelings and reactions differ from person to person and often depend on the circumstances surrounding the pregnancy and the decision to have an abortion. Women who have had more than one abortion do not have the same reaction each time, and some find subsequent abortions harder than the first meaning they do not necessarily become desensitized. It is impossible to accurately predict how you will feel afterwards!
If the feelings of regret, anger and sadness overwhelm you, if they persist for more than a few days, if you find yourself unable to return to your regular activities after a week or two have passed, or if you have trouble sleeping because you are thinking about the abortion, you may be falling in to a depression. You must seek medical help if this happens to you. No matter how confident you were going in to the abortion depression may still follow. Be aware of the signs, and if others are aware of your having had an abortion make sure they are aware of the signs of post-abortion depression before you go in for the procedure.
The most common signs of depression are:
- intense sadness, anger and mood swings followed by increasing isolation,
- thoughts of, or threats of suicide,
- loss of appetite, refusal to eat,
- withdrawl from normal or favorite activities and people,
- crying all the time, angry outbursts, or both.
This article not a political article or a religious article. It will not make any moral assertions on the issue of abortion. It will not promote or discourage this choice. It is for informational purposes only.