Like leprechauns and unicorns the search for true love can seem like a fantasy that will never come true, but rest assured, you will find "the one" one day. In fact, as you head down the path of life you are likely to find a few "the ones", that is you are likely to fall in love more than once. How can you tell the difference between love-right-now and the-right-and-true-love? You can't really. Each and every time you fall in love it will feel like the real and final deal and it will be true. Every relationship will have something important to offer you and none, no matter how painfully they may end, will be a waste of your time. Each relationship will teach you a valuable lesson about yourself, your capacity to love, and what you are looking for (and not looking for) in a partner. So how can you tell if the person you are with is worthy of your "true love"? How can you know when a crush has moved beyond lust and in to the realm of love? Here are some sure fire signs that your affair of the heart has reached true love status:
- You can't help but smile when you see her/him and s/he is always smiling back.
- You feel comfortable and secure in the relationship and really trust your partner not to hurt you; ie, there is no need for jealousy or suspicion.
- There have been good times and bad times and through, or in spite of, them all you have remained together.
- There are no major dramas in the relationship; ie, you do not test one anothers love, engage in relationship foiling gossip or feel the need to play games.
- You each do kind and thoughtful things for the other "just because" and doing them makes both people feel good.
- Outside pressures are few and far between; there are none or only minor issues with peers, friends, family and teachers.
- There is no violence in the relationship at all -- NONE!
- You enhance one another, neither one of you presses the other to do things that may lead to harm or that the other is opposed to doing.
- The things that make you different do not push you apart; ie, different religions, cultural backgrounds or personal beliefs.
- There is no sacrifice, only compromise.
- Sex or no sex: it doesn't matter, either way it isn't an issue and nobody has been pressured to do something they weren't ready to do.
- You know that everything you feel is returned in kind by your partner.
Remember, the idea of one true love is romantic but unrealistic. Open your heart to the idea of loving more than one person in your life, think of these relationships as test runs for the final true love, the person you end up spending your life with, and live in the moment. If you get tunnel vision and become obsessed with finding the mystical and magical "one" s/he may just pass you by.