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We set the scene, rate the risks, and hand you a solution that will guarantee the best outcome.

The Scenario:

You are at a party when the guy (or girl) of your dreams, and your latest and greatest crush, starts paying you some serious attention. After a few hours of intimate conversation and wild flirtation, you find yourself alone together in a room. He locks the door and gives you that "come hither" look, but you aren't sure you're ready for that kind of relating. You really like this person, but your gut instinct tells you that things are going way too fast. How do you put on the brakes without wiping out any chance for a real and deep romance?

The "Oh No" Factor:

        
This scenario isn't too hard to finesse, all it takes is the courage to be true to yourself. At the moment it may feel like you're getting ready to jump out of the pot and into the fire, but once you are safely out of the flames, you'll appreciate how "matter of fact" this one really is. You are being given a golden opportunity to show your crush how you really feel about him while getting a good idea how true his feelings are toward you. This is one of those "blessing in disguise" deals that life hands you from time to time.
"Oh No" Factor on a scale of 1 to 10 = 4

The Solution:

First and foremost, stay cool! Nothing crushes a budding romance faster than hysteria and misfired signals. Take a deep breath and plaster a giant (and genuine) smile across your face. Then, with no room for confusion, slam on the brakes and make it clear that things have progressed too far and too fast for your tastes. Let him know how much you really like him and how long you have dreamed of being the center of his attentions, but tell him that you aren't interested in getting physical right off the bat. Add that you respect him AND yourself too much to start things off on such a heavy note. Make it really clear that this isn't a kiss off and that you are definitely open to spending some quality time together. You will know right away if he is really into you for the long haul or if he is only looking for a 24 hour love affair.

If he suddenly gives you the cold shoulder, rest assured that he was never as "in" to you as you were to him. In short, you haven't lost anything because your crush never intended to have a relationship with you. You were merely the evening's entertainment and by halting things before there was anything for him to brag about, you have saved yourself a lot of potential embarrassment and heartache.

If he is interested in you in "the relationship way", he will totally respect your feelings and won't want to risk the loss of your affections by pushing you in to something you don't yet want. He will back up and slow down, and he'll do so with a smile. Then you two can get down to the serious business of getting to REALLY know one another. Either way, by slowing things down and staying true to yourself, you end up a winner!

 

 

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