|
Regret, Addiction and Death |
 |
A true story.
|
|
|
|
|
Join the Discussion
|
"The other day we got this 101 Things to do That are Better Than Drugs or wahtever and it was like really
stupid stuff like "blow on a babys tummy". LOL. Anyway, just say somehting like "I've got a life ahead of me and I'm not
gonna screw it up".
Posted by Liv/(LIV53)
RESPOND TO THIS POST
Drinking and Driving
"A poem you must read..."
Posted by CHEYENNE
RESPOND TO THIS POST
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| |
| |
|
I still see his young, handsome face making jokes about how "whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger" as he handed out the drug of the night. What killed Gordon, the drug use, did make some of US stronger. The drug use in the group tapered off dramatically. Some others went off to rehab programs or joined CA, AA or some similar support group. A few people stayed with the drugs and moved on to a different social circle. Jonah and I broke up. It was a strain on our relationship. I couldn't understand why he lied to the paramedic. I didn't get why he didn't yell at the group to fess up what they knew. I was mad at myself for being so afraid to speak up in a room full of kids who were older than me all because I wanted to impress them, to belong. It tore us apart. As a couple, Jonah and I were never the same. As individuals, none of us were ever the same.
Now I am almost 30. 15 years have passed since I helplessly watched my friend dying at a party. I still remember what he looked like. It is crystal clear. In fact, the whole night is like a slow playing movie in my head. I can stop it where I want and imagine how different things could have been if SOMEBODY had made a different choice at a given moment. I am filled with regrets. I regret not saying something to an adult. I regret going along with the crowd by keeping the drug use a secret. I regret not telling the paramedic what he wanted to know and I regret not knowing what that answer should have been. I am filled with regrets. But I was 14, what could I have done?
I could have done everything! I could have told my mother. I could have told a school counselor. I could have spoken up when the hard drugs were brought to the party and pointed out that the experimenting was going wrong. I could have asked Jonah to do these things, he was older and every bit as popular as Gordon, people listened to him. He might have reached somebody who could have reached Gordon. But I went along and hoped my own abstinence would speak for itself. That is what all of us who stayed away from the drugs hoped. We are as guilty as those who tried the drugs at making the entire thing "OK". Our silence was read as acceptance, not rejection. Our abstinence was seen as a personal choice, not a caring recommendation. If I could really stop and do it over again, I would speak up and denounce. It might not have changed anything, Gordon probably would have still died the same way, but at least I wouldn't feel like a player in his death. Maybe he wouldn't be dead at all.
Drugs can kill. They do kill. They did kill. They will kill again. Is it really worth it? Do you know the reality of the risks you are taking? You should!
~ T. Kells
Next page > Drugs & Alcohol - Addiction Realities > Page 1, 2, 3, 4
