More of this Feature • The Santana HS Shooting • Getting Help - A Checklist • Relevant Information I • Relevant Information II

Related Resources • Report School Violence • Talking to Your Parents • Helplines for Teens • Crisis Line Phone Numbers • Teens Talk: Serious Stuff • Dealing: Social Weapons

How do you know when words aren't "just a joke" or when a person is really serious about harming others? Nobody wants to turn in a friend who is just blowing off some steam with words. When should an uttered threat be taken seriously? The answer becomes clearer with every bullet fired in a school building. EVERY uttered threat must be taken seriously and reported to a parent or school official. Every single one!

Fears of "over-reacting" or of "getting someone in trouble" need to be pushed aside and forgotten. When it comes to kids threatening to kill there is no longer such a thing as "over-reacting"; there is only "under-reacting"! After all, which would you rather bury -- your fears or your peers?

The first and most important thing that you must do to avoid tragedies like Columbine and Santana is lose the us versus the adults mentality. This is a mentality that has been played to an extreme, and it is time that teens let it go. Adults are not the enemy! Your parents, teachers, counsellors and principals are not out to crush your teen age spirit into a prison of conformity. We are not out to ruin your fun. Adults are there to protect and guide you, not control you. It is normal for teens to assert independence and want autonomy, but this does not have to come at the expense of good and solid relationships with your parents and the other adults in your life.

Teens who talk to their parents and share the details of their lives are less likely to be involved with drugs and violence. They have more confidence and better relationships with peers. Teens who trust their parents to trust them are happier with their lives, more attentive in school and more motivated to succeed and do the right thing. When you regularly talk to your parents about the little things in life, it is much easier to come to them with the bigger issues. When it comes to deciding if a peer's threats are real you should never go it alone. This is when you need your parents' guidance the most -- let them give it.

You should never accept the burden of determining whether or not a peer who is uttering threats is really dangerous. No teen (or adult) needs to make that determination alone. Whether or not a threat is real should be the last thing you worry about. All you need to think about is making sure that somebody with the power to intervene knows a threat has been put forth. All you need to do is sound a warning.

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