10 Tips For Talking To Your Parents About Sex
Let's Talk About Sex! |
- Know your stuff - let them see you are
ready by showing them you have done your homework and are
going to act responsibly.
- Know your reasons - know why you feel
you are ready to have sex and what your reasons are; they
will ask, and if you can't answer maybe you aren't as
ready as you thought!
- Be prepared for a negative reaction - it
is very hard to see your child ready to be intimate with
someone, accept your parents displeasure or anger since it
is valid, and be prepared to live with it.
- Don't flaunt it in their faces - your
descison to have sex shouldn't be a weapon designed to
hurt your parents or "put them in their place"
while you assert independence, if you are trying to upset
them you are having sex for the wrong reasons!
- Be calm and polite - this won't be easy
for them, even if they are the most liberal parents in
the world, if you come out "gangbusters" it
will make them react rather than listen.
- Talk about birth control and safer sex -
I can't explain the horror I felt when my mother asked me
about this; spare yourself the shock and bring it up
first, it will show that you are thinking about what you
are doing which is always a good thing.
- Don't sugar coat it - if you want to
talk about birth control options, do it; if you want to
have sex but aren't sure you are in love, speak up; if
you think it is none of their business and are telling
them as a courtesy, make it known. This is not a time to
hide how you feel.
- Be truthful - it is really easy to
chicken out and tell your parents what you think they can
handle rather than what is true - this is a short term
fix and is bound to cause blow ups in the future.
- Tell them what a great job they have done
- let them know that you value their opinions and are
aware of their feelings on the matter (and I hope you are).
Tell them that the reason you can come to them about this
rather than hiding it is because they have done a good
job at earning your trust. Even if your choice goes
against values you know they have, make sure you tell
them you respect their feelings.
- LISTEN - listen to your parents, they do
have experience in this matter (you're here aren't you?)
and are an invaluable resource, even if you may not like
what they say. More importantly, listen to yourself as
you talk to them - if anything you hear yourself
say sounds wrong when spoken out loud you may want to
take a second look at your decision.
Listening Advice for Mom & Dad - you may want them to
read this BEFORE you sit down to talk.
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