Teens think it is a cliché when parents tell them, "someday you'll understand", but it is one of the truest things that parents will ever say. One day you will understand everything your parents say and do; all the limits they set on your life and all the advice they push on you will suddenly make perfect sense. Much of what your parents do and say is designed to stop you from repeating the senseless mistakes that they made as teens. You may think that you have a right to make those same mistakes for yourself and to learn those lessons on your own, and in some instances you are right, but there are some mistakes that do not bear repeating. One of those types of mistakes is being cruel to a peer.

When your parents tell you to obey the Golden Rule and treat other people the way that you want other people to treat you, they are not just throwing out silly advice. They are offering you essential words to live by for your entire life. You will spend more of your life in the sobriety of adulthood then you will in the euphoria of youth, and there are some regrets that are not worth having. Hurting another person whose only crime is being different or easily picked on is not the sort of experience that you need to have in order to grow into a productive and happy adult. In fact, I guarantee that your adult life will be happier if you don't ever lower yourself to the level of person who needs to put other's down in order to make themselves feel good.

When I look back at the way we treated Effie I can honestly say, I didn't feel good then, and I don't feel good now. My actions and inactions contributed, not only to her adolescent pain, but to my own grown-up regret. I do not remember those moments fondly, as I am sure she doesn't, and I have no memory of what it was that made hurting her worth the time it took out of my day. Whatever short term, superficial benefit, that being party to the belittlement of another human being may have offered way back then, I have no recollection of it now. The only lasting impact that hurting Effie has had on my life is one of sadness and regret.

I hope that you will read this and realize that there are better things to experience than hurting another human being. When you see that shy kid, or that zitty kid, or that fat kid walking down the hall, instead of hissing an insult why not muster a smile? Instead of devoting time and effort to putting another person down, why not work at really making yourself better? You will never feel bad for having been nice!