Realizing there is abusive behavior going on is the first step in correcting the problem. You should understand that abusers hurt other people's feelings mostly to protect themselves from being hurt. We might try to protect ourselves by behaving badly, the very way we don't want others to act toward us.

One way to correct this is to talk more and react less. Discuss your harsh feelings with friends and family members, as opposed to expressing your feelings with anger. Trust in others is important. Remember that no one can always be right and that someone else may be able to help you solve these problems.

Another way is to ask yourself if you behave in abusive ways because you think no one accepts you for who you are. Do you feel that people won't listen to you unless you use attack methods to make your points? Do you feel no one respects what you think or why you think that way? You need to learn to feel good about yourself without the approval or disapproval of others. Having self-esteem can only help your relationships.

If you maintain the role of the abuser in a relationship, you will lose the respect of others and you may well drive them away. This will leave you lonely, angry, and unable to cope with school, work, sports, and the ability to enjoy life.

If you are being abusive or think you may exhibit abusive behaviors from time to time and feel you need help understanding these situations further, you should consult with a school counselor, a parent, or a close friend.

Next Page > Are You Abusive? > Pages 1, 2, 3

Here is a list of a few organizations and groups you can get in touch with for more help and information on abusive relationships.

• Resources to End Abusive Behavior
• National Domestic Violence Hotline
• National Coalition Against Domestic Violence State List
• Family Violence Prevention Fund

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