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Losing It
What does it mean to lose your virginity?
 More of this Feature
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Sex, are you ready?



Main Entry: 1vir·gin
Pronunciation: 'v&r-j&n
Function: noun
: a person who has not had sexual intercourse
- vir·gin·al /'v&r-j&n-&l,'v&rj-n&l/ adjective
- vir·gin·al·ly /-E/ adverb

Sexual Intercourse:

Main Entry: sexual intercourse
Function: noun
: sexual union especially involving penetration of the vagina by the penis
* Source: Word Central Student Dictionary

It is an interesting question: what does it mean to lose your virginity?

In the strictest term; you are a virgin until you've had sexual intercourse with the member of the opposite sex. But this definition leaves a lot of people out of the loop. While the social policy makers look to redefine marriage to include same sex partnerships, maybe it is time we also revisited what it means to be a virgin.

When we think of virgins, we think of "white wedding innocents" who define sex as a synonym for gender. But the fact is, the standard definition of virginity lets you get away with having a lot of different kinds of sex was still being able to call yourself a virgin. In theory, under the traditional definition of virginity, someone who is homosexual can have sex every day and still be a virgin. Someone who has oral sex regularly is also still a virgin. Does that really make sense? Something is a miss!

The whole narrow definition of virginity is in desperate need of a rewrite. Who better to do it than the first generation of new millennium teens? What does "losing your virginity" mean to you? Is it a state of mind or a specific act? Is it something that can be taken from you, or does it only count if you willingly give it away? When does "fooling around" end and "having sex" begin?

When considering "the new definition", think about these situations and ask yourself how they fit in to the meaning of virginity.

  • Is someone who is raped or molested no longer a virgin?
  • Is actual intercourse the only act that counts when determining ones virginity?
  • If you willingly engage in other intimate sexual acts but do not have intercourse, is it fair to still consider yourself a virgin?
  • How would you define losing your virginity if you were/are homosexual or bisexual?
  • Is being a virgin based on your feelings, what you do, or is it a combination of both?
  • Is there an emotional component to losing your virginity, meaning if you have sex but don't feel anything is different about you, does it count?
  • Is the current definition of virginity, and all the social stigma attached to it, biased toward girls? Is this right?
  • Does the current definition of virginity exclude homosexuals? Is this right?
  • Is virginity subjective (based on how the individual views themselves and what they do) or objective (how the situation is viewed by others on the outside)?

Formulate a definition and then share it with others, let's see what we can come up with.

Post your definition to the Teen Advice Forum: "What is Sex?"

Next page > A New Definition > Page 1, 2



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