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Discuss Your Feelings
Talk with other teens about your grief and loss.
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Dealing with the death of an idol can be a difficult thing. When a friend or family member dies, the other people in your
life are sympathetic to your pain and confusion, but when a celebrity idol dies, the sympathy is not as forthcoming. What
people don't often acknowledge is, that for teens, celebrities can feel like family. Teens often tie much of their identity
to their favorite celebrities. They buy merchandise created or endorsed by the star, they dress like the star, they act like
the star, they wrap themselves in the pop culture created by the celebrity, and in doing so, they adopt a part of that person.
When a favored star dies suddenly, it can be a harrowing ordeal. The blow to the fan is both emotional, they miss the star,
and personal, they have lost a part of their identity.
We choose which stars we like and which ones we do not. The celebrities we embrace say something to others about what we
are like. The reasons why we like some celebrities and not others can come down to superficial things; like the sound of
their music or the type of movies they make, or the draw can be more substantial; like a star's political views or their
social conscience. We may choose to admire a celebrity simply because they are a vegetarian, or because they sang a song
about living in poverty. We may come to adore a celebrity because of their image, because we want to take on a piece of that
image for ourselves. In the teen years, when the struggle to find ones' identity is often at its greatest, the attachment
to a star can be all consuming.
So what do you do when a favorite celebrity dies? The answer is simple; you mourn. You honor that celebrity in a positive
way, remembering all the things you admired most about that person and all the reasons why you chose to be their fan. Let out
your grief and ignore people who try to down play your loss. You may not have known the celebrity personally, but they were
an intimate part of your life, it is natural and normal for you to feel sad. You have lost something; you gave the star a
gift, you gave them your respect and admiration, and in return you got joy. Now the source of that joy is gone, and you have
every right to feel a loss. You chose to let the celebrity in to your world by honoring them as a fan, and you have lost
something special in their death.
While a celebrity may play an unorthodox role in your life, their death is no different than the death of anybody else whom you care about.
Deal with the loss as you would any other, remember the good, take comfort in the memories,
and go on with your life by making a positive contribution to society. Do not immerse yourself in the death, do not let it
consume you, if you feel overwhelmed by your feelings of loss, seek help. Reach out to other fans, seek comfort on bulletin
boards and in chats with other people who admired the star, there is strength in numbers. Most of all, be proud of who you
are, the fact that you care so much about a person you hardly knew shows how amazing YOU are! What better way to honor a
lost idol than to remember them with love in your heart?
For more help with grief please see:
For Immediate Help Coping
For more on the story of Aaliyah's death please see:
Teen Music Coverage: Aaliyah Dead In Plane Crash
Next Page - Aaliyah Dead at Age 22 - Pages 1, 2
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