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Scare
Tactic #1
If you
have sex you can get an STD or AIDS, even the first time.
This falls in to
the category of, "unclear statement". Whether it is
unclear intentionally or by accident doesn't matter. It is true
that you can get AIDS or a less deadly STD when you have sex,
even from your first sexual encounter. What is misinforming is
what is not mentioned. There are two pretty essential things that
need to happen in order for you to "catch something"
through sex. First and foremost, your partner has to be infected.
Second, you have to have sex without a condom (although a condom
does not offer 100% protection - it can help). If your partner is
NOT infected there is no chance you will catch something by
having sex with them in a clean environment. I emphasize clean
environment. If you have sex on a bed that other people have
recently had sex on you could catch something from the bed! If
you use a condom you mitigate, although NOT erase, the chances
that you will catch an STD. However, when you are told, "sex
can lead to STDS or AIDS" the broadness of the statement is
more an "erring on the side of caution" than it is an
outright half truth. You see when you sleep with somebody you are
literally sleeping with every person they have ever been with. If
you are sleeping with an intravenous drug user you are also
sleeping with the people they have shared needles with. It is
possible that your partner is infected without knowing it. It is
even possible that your infected partner is lying about it to you
so you will go to bed with them. When adults give you this
warning they are accounting for the fact that you can never be
100% sure that your partner is "clean", it is always
better to be safe than sorry!
Scare
Tactic #2
When you
sleep with somebody too quickly or without commitment, they won't
respect you.
This tactic is usually directed at girls and is as old
as teenagedom itself, maybe even older. It is a hard one to prove
or disprove. While it is true that some people do respect you less
after you have had sex with them, this is far from the norm. What
more often happens is that people who have sex too soon get
"spooked" by the emotions that sex with a new person
can bring. If a recent sex partner suddenly does a 180 in their
attitude towards you it probably has nothing to do with
respecting and everything to do with their own confusion. The
"too soon" factor comes in to play because people who
know each other or already care for one another without sex are
less likely to be frightened off by all the emotions that adding
sex to a relationship can bring. This is not to suggest that
there is an arbitrary figure defining "too soon" as
what seems early to one person can seem right on schedule to
another. It just means that without something other than sexual
attraction keeping two people "in to" each other, once
that attraction is satisfied, there is often little else left.
Scare
Tactic #3
If you
have sex too early or with someone you don't love, it means there
is something wrong with you, that you have low self esteem, or
that you are a nymphomaniac.
OK, this one is thrown around a lot and it is one of the
most misunderstood of the "scare tactics". Another
variation is the "having sex makes you a slut" scare
tactic. While it is very true that being promiscuous or having sex
at an early age can be a sign of an emotional or psychological
disorder, this is not always the case. In fact, it is not even
USUALLY the case. People who have been abused or molested often
act out in their teen years by having sex indiscriminantly.
However, this is not the only thing that these people do to show
that they have been psychologically harmed. Nymphomania on the
other hand, is a serious psychiatric disorder and is manifested
in self destructive sexual encounters or relationships, not
"having sex too early or with someone you don't love".
For the average teen, this statement just isn't true.
Scare
Tactic #4
If you are
not a virgin nobody will believe you if you get raped.
This is (in my opinion) the most heinous of the "sex
scare tactics" and is almost exclusively used against girls.
Rape is a crime. Consenting to sex may be illegal for people of
certain ages, but it is not anywhere near the level of "criminal"
that rape is. For people to want girls to stay chaste just so
that they will be believed, on the off chance that they get
raped, is just plain perverse. To make this tactic even more
despicable, it is untrue that virginity makes you an
incontrovertible witness in your own rape. Many virgins have come
forward to say they were raped and not been believed. While this
"scare tactic" is probably born out of the very real
practice of "putting rape victims on trial" as a legal
defense, it is a terrible thing to use this social injustice to
keep girls from having sex with someone they care for or who
cares for them.
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