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One Family - Two Cultures

From Mike Hardcastle,
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How to deal when your parents are really from a different world.

Culture clashes! They have existed since the dawn of human history. They are regular features on the evening news and the topic of debate at dinner tables all over the world. We see examples of culture clashes turned terribly violent every day: in Ireland, in the Middle East, in Rahwanda, in Yugoslavia, in Taiwan... the list is endless. There are less violent, but equally as meaningful culture clashes daily in high schools, court rooms and workplaces all over North America. In their ugliest form, culture clashes are full blown racism, in their mildest form they exist as intolerence. Be it in a war zone or a school yard, culture clashes are not easy to deal with. But imagine that those clashes follow you home. What do you do when the cultural landscape of your family is at oods?

Many teens feel that their parents don't understand them. They feel as if their parents are "from a different world". This is a normal feeling that comes from the generation gap between teens and their adult parents, it isn't a culture clash it is a generational difference. Yet there are teens all over the world who deal with real culture clashes between them and their parents every day. Teens from very rigid backgrounds struggle with the burden of a global awareness while dealing with a culture that is very set in it's ways. If you are in a family that has recently immigrated to a new country, or are the child of fairly new immigrants, the "old country meets new" issue is very pronounced.

In North America and other Western countries, immigrant teens (or the native born children of recent immigrants) face a struggle that their peers do not - a struggle to maintain their heritage while living in a contrary culture. Western media seems fixated on extreme examples of cultural differences between the Western "norm" and the many foriegn cultures it comes in contact with. We hear of arranged marriages, honor killings, gender based abortions, female circumcision and other practices that are now abhorent to the Western world, and cringe. Now imagine how difficult it would be if your own cultural identity and that of your parents were at similar odds. How do you maintain your heritage while rejecting it's cultural base? How do you balance two parts of your own world that don't seem to understand each other?

For teens who were born and/or raised in a Western culture but whose parents were raised in an "old coutry" culture, the cross culture dilemma is a daily reality. If you or someone you know has to deal with this, there are some things that may help make the burden more bearable. There are ways to communicate with your parents and, at the very least, make your experiences known.

Facts About Culture Clashes
Talking to Culture Clashed Parents

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