Old Friends Meet New

Maintaining and building friendships after high school graduation.

Blend the old with the new.
When you move out in to the world and form new bonds with new people it can feel like loving in two bizarre parallel universes, each starring you on the same stage but neither one fitting with the other. Your old friendships have a history to them, a wealth of shared experiences that have bonded you together. Your new friendships are built on the excitement of entering a new phase of life and shine with all the hope and promise of your future dreams. Is it possible to take relationships that are based on such different premises and make them work as one? The answer is yes. Once you have decided on your primary friendships from both your old and new worlds, that is the friendships you are willing to put the most time and effort in to building and maintaining, the next big step is bringing these people together. You will have to play the bridge as you are likely to be the only thing your old and new friends have in common at first. This can be an awkward and uncomfortable place to be but if you are going to bring your friendships together it is a role you must play. If you are lucky enough for your old friends and your new friends to hit it off right away than count your blessings and enjoy an easy mesh, but if your not so lucky and instead of an instant bond between your friends you find yourself facing instant tension don’t panic. Your old friendships and your new friendships don’t have to blend in order to work in your life. If you find yourself dealing with a serious incompatibility crisis resign yourself to living in separate but equal friendship spheres and adjust accordingly. In order for this to work there are three very important rules to live by: 1) never ditch one group for the other, except in very extreme circumstances – think weddings, birthdays, sickness and funerals – and always stick with the plans you make first, 2) always be honest, don’t lie about who you are with or what you are doing and never act as if being with one group of friends is a burden (even if at times it feels like one), and finally 3) never give up trying to bring the two spheres together, don’t alienate one set of friends for the other on days that pertain to you, on your birthday, your wedding day, at your baby showers, your friends should put aside their differences and be there for you – never compromise in this.