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Is My Long Distance Relationship Fading Away?


Is My Long Distance Relationship Fading Away?

Love letters and phone calls aren't enough for some boyfriends and girlfriends.

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Question: Is My Long Distance Relationship Fading Away?
My boyfriend and I have been in a long distance relationship for 6 months, but the past couple months have seemed different. We hardly ever talk, sometimes going 3 days in a row without talking. What's wrong? Should I be doing something more to keep him interested? I mentioned to him that I don't feel as important to him now as I used to, and he felt horrible for it and kept saying what horrible a boyfriend he was. But things still haven't changed. What's going on?
Answer: I'll be honest: long distance relationships don't have very good odds of surviving. It might be fun for a while to chat online and sneak phone calls, but unless there's an end in sight (when you actually get to see each other for a long stretch of time), everyone's got a breaking point.

And that's only fair. As great as phone calls can be, they're nothing compared to being in the same room as someone you love.

I'm not saying that your boyfriend doesn't care about you, or that this relationship isn't important to him. But it sounds like he's reached his breaking point. He didn't want to (which is why he feels so terrible now), but he did.

And it's time that you did, too.

Long distance relationships are only fulfilling if both people actually feel fulfilled. You can't change how your boyfriend feels, so instead, let him go. Leave on good terms - as friends - with the understanding that if you ever do have the chance to be in the same place at the same time, and you're both still single, you can pick up where you left off.

I'm sure this isn't the advice you want to hear, and I know it'll hurt a lot to break things off with your boyfriend. But you deserve to be with someone who's completely happy with what your relationship is...and hopefully, someone who lives in the same town as you.


Note: this was a real question that a real person emailed to me! (It's been edited a little for the purposes of this article.) If you want to ask me and the rest of the Teen Advice community your own question, come visit the Teen Advice forum.
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