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My Boyfriend Won't Let Me Talk to Other Guys!


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Question: My Boyfriend Won't Let Me Talk to Other Guys!
My boyfriend has an issue when I talk to other guys, including a guy friend I've had since preschool. He will get jealous and shut himself away for the whole day. I told him that he was being unfair to me, as he's "allowed" to talk to his friends who are girls. He claims that it's just because he loves me so much and fears losing me. But when he's in his jealous mood, he is very rude and harsh to me. How should I handle this? Help!!!
Answer: What your boyfriend's doing to you is not only wrong, it's a sign of an abusive relationship. Honestly! Look at Sign #3.

The whole "I do it 'cause I love you so much" excuse (a common thing that abusers say) is based on a twisted idea of love. Love isn't about control or jealousy, it's about respect.

You're allowed to be friends with anyone you want, male or female. And your boyfriend's not allowed to dictate who you can and can't talk to. The fact that he's doing this now is a sign that he might engage in even more controlling behavior in the future, like screening your calls or keeping you from talking to all of your friends.

But even if he doesn't go that far, he's already gone far enough. Get out of this relationship ASAP and hold out for a guy who treats you fairly.

If you're not sure of the best way break up with him, here's some advice.


Note: this was a real question that a real person emailed to me! (It's been edited a little for the purposes of this article.) If you want to ask me and the rest of the Teen Advice community your own question, come visit the Teen Advice forum.
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