Question: My Best Friend Told Me He's Gay. What Should I Do?
I've been in love with him for two years. (I'm female and he is male.)
I feel so disgusted with myself and I can't look at him the same. I am so confused, I feel so grossed out and I know that it's not fair to him. I didn't tell him how I feel 'cause I don't want to hurt him.
I feel so disgusted with myself and I can't look at him the same. I am so confused, I feel so grossed out and I know that it's not fair to him. I didn't tell him how I feel 'cause I don't want to hurt him.
Answer: I'm sure your friend's news was a big shock to you, especially given your feelings for him. As hard as it is to cope with the facts, I hope you'll consider a couple of things:
Your friend's in a vulnerable spot right now. He knows you could be feeling anything from hurt to angry to grossed out to all of the above. But he shared his secret with you anyway, because you're really important to him. (I mean, shoot - you're his very best friend.)
You're allowed to feel all the bad stuff you're feeling right now - it's a totally normal reaction. And you're allowed to take as much time away from him as you need. But I'm sure he's hoping that, once the news sinks in, all those bad feelings will go away and you'll want to be friends with him again.
I think you'll benefit from talking to people who are (or have been) in the same position as you. Visit PFLAG (Parents, Families & Friends of Lesbians and Gays) to see if there's anyone in your area who can share their stories with you. They also have a do's and don'ts for families and friends list that it might help you to read.
Good luck with all of this - I know it's a lot to handle. If you need more support, I hope you'll get in touch with the folks at PFLAG, or at least come back here to the forum to give us an update.
Note: this was a real question left by a real person in the Teen Advice Forum! (It's been shortened for the purposes of this article.) If you want to give her your own advice, leave it here. Or if you want to ask the forum your own question, come visit the forum.
Your friend's in a vulnerable spot right now. He knows you could be feeling anything from hurt to angry to grossed out to all of the above. But he shared his secret with you anyway, because you're really important to him. (I mean, shoot - you're his very best friend.)
You're allowed to feel all the bad stuff you're feeling right now - it's a totally normal reaction. And you're allowed to take as much time away from him as you need. But I'm sure he's hoping that, once the news sinks in, all those bad feelings will go away and you'll want to be friends with him again.
I think you'll benefit from talking to people who are (or have been) in the same position as you. Visit PFLAG (Parents, Families & Friends of Lesbians and Gays) to see if there's anyone in your area who can share their stories with you. They also have a do's and don'ts for families and friends list that it might help you to read.
Good luck with all of this - I know it's a lot to handle. If you need more support, I hope you'll get in touch with the folks at PFLAG, or at least come back here to the forum to give us an update.
Note: this was a real question left by a real person in the Teen Advice Forum! (It's been shortened for the purposes of this article.) If you want to give her your own advice, leave it here. Or if you want to ask the forum your own question, come visit the forum.