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How To Deal with a Jealous Friend

by Jessica Stevenson
for About.com

Dealing with a jealous friend isn't easy. It can be downright frustrating. Find out how to make the best of the situation, be fair to yourself and your friend, and, if possible, preserve the friendship. It can be done!
Difficulty: Hard
Time Required: A lot of time and patience.

Here's How:

  1. Try to find out why your friend is jealous. Is it something you said? Is it something you have little or no control over, such as your looks or your family? Is it something your friend should be supportive of, such as your grades or a special talent of yours?
  2. Once you know where the jealousy comes from, try to be empathetic: Imagine you're your friend or how you'd feel in the same situation.
  3. Find out what your friend really wants to have. Do they wish they felt smarter or had more supportive parents? Maybe you can be helpful. Let them know that you believe in them and ask what you can do help them get what they want.
  4. Try not to brag, show off or make things that would make your friend feel frustrated. This will only fan the flames of the jealousy.
  5. Show that you're happy about your life, but be sure to show interest and excitement about things going on in your friend's life, too. Take some time to point out some of their unique strengths and good qualities.
  6. Sometimes jealousy is mixed with a lot of anger. If your efforts to listen to your friend and encourage them aren't working, give them some time to cool off. They may need to work out their feelings alone or with someone who's not the object of their jealousy.
  7. Recruit some extra support for yourself, too: Another friend, a relative or a girlfriend/boyfriend may be able to help you sort out your feelings about being the object of your friend's jealousy. A lot of people feel bad about making someone else jealous, so be sure to remind yourself why you're a good person, too!
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