Me and my boyfriend have been together for a year. However we broke up for a period of six months. We broke up because after we had sex for the first time he said he was confused about how he felt about me. He said he was feeling this " confusion " before we had sex. This sux because I was unsure the night we "did it" and he reassured me that he "loved " me. Any ways there is some history for you. So we got back together in April and now he acts like an jerk to me and then I will cry sometimes and he apologizes and feels bad, but will do it again later. I know I should break up with him but I love him and I'm scared I'll regret it... what should I do?
A:
I have to wonder, would you feel any worse without him than you do with him? The guy has done two pretty cruel things to you in the course of your relationship. First, he pressured you emotionally to have sex before you were totally sure. Second, he broke up with you AFTER having sex even though he admits he was having doubts before. Now you are back together and he is being a jerk. Do you really think he is such a great boyfriend? He sounds terrible to me.
It is easier to tell someone to break up with a bad partner than it is to do the breaking up, but I don't think this guy deserves you. He didn't see what a good thing he had the first time around and broke things off with you at a really sensitive moment. He clearly doesn't see what a good thing he has in you now if he is treating you bad enough to make you cry. Too many girls put their self worth in a guys hand. Too often we think that we need a boyfriend, any boyfriend, in order to be "worthy girls". Boyfriends are outward symbols to others that we are desirable, that we are attractive and that we are able to keep a guy interested. It is a shame that so many of us also invest out self esteem in whether or not we have a boyfriend.
I have no doubts that you care for him, and in his own weird way I bet he cares for you, but he isn't treating you well and that is what really matters. It is one thing to "talk the talk" of love, it is another to "walk the walk." This guy knows all the right things to say but hasn't a clue how to treat you. You should take a deep breath, dump this guy, and find a boyfriend who will make you feel good about yourself and your relationship.
