Every Friday my guy likes to hang out with his friends. I don't know what they do but I do know that sometimes there are girls in the group. He is two years older than me and he swears that the girls are just long time members of their group of friends and not anything to worry about but I still feel uncomfortable. One of the girls is his ex and I think she still wants him. They both tell me it is over and that they are only friends but if that is true why can't I be part of the Friday night hang out sessions? Am I wrong to insist that he bring me along every once in a while? He NEVER wants to bring me, is it wrong to ask to come even a couple of times a month?
A:
No, I do not see anything wrong with you wanting to go with him his friends once in awhile, but a guy does need his buddy time too. We all need our space. Some guys have friends that are girls and they consider them part of the gang - nothing else. I can see how you are a bit suspicious about the ex because he never wants you to go out with them of Friday nights, but I would only be suspicious if he never let you hang around with him and his buddies. Then it would seem like there was a whole part of his life he was hiding from you and you would have to wonder why.
Part of a relationships is having trust in each other. You need that to have a relationship because without it there is no solid foundation. Has he given you any reason not to trust him? You said you confronted both of them and they both have said nothing else is going on. How did they seem when you confronted them? Was he more concerned about you or did he seem more worried about her, there is a big clue in how you answer this question. I think you can see what it is.
However, the whole thing begs the question, why doen he NEVER let you go? There is nothing wrong with him spending time alone with friends but his keeping you away makes me wonder, is something he doesn't want you to know? Try to give him the benefit of the doubt, he could honestly just want some friend time and she happens to truly be just a friend. Does he ever let you hang out with his guy friends? Does he always want to be with you and your friends? These are a couple of questions I would ask myself, and again, the answers are full of good clues.
Every couple should have time away from each other to spend with friends and family, but they should also need couple time. If you feel that your couple time is an after thought and not a priority, it may be time to move on whether he is still involved with his ex or not. It could be that this problem bothers you so much because it is indicative of a relationship where you are not made to feel important. Nobody needs that! If you figure out the underlying reasons why this bothers you, you will be better able to find a solution. And by all means, assert yourself into his world SOMETIMES as long as you leave him some room to be with his pals. There is nothing wrong with demanding equal attention and consideration.