Every Friday my guy likes to hang out with his friends. I don't know what they do but I do know that sometimes there are girls in the group. He is two years older than me and he swears that the girls are just long time members of their group of friends and not anything to worry about but I still feel uncomfortable. One of the girls is his ex and I think she still wants him. They both tell me it is over and that they are only friends but if that is true why can't I be part of the Friday night hang out sessions? Am I wrong to insist that he bring me along every once in a while? He NEVER wants to bring me, is it wrong to ask to come even a couple of times a month?
A:
A situation like this can only mean one thing. He's doing something he doesn't want you to see. I'm sorry to say it, but its true. If he were just going out and having fun, you would be one of the first people he'd want along, not the last. I'm a guy, I know how our minds work. If you really meant that much to him, you would be going most if not all of the time, especially when other girls are going to be there. Unfortunately, he's either heavy on the drinking or drugs, he's fooling around with some other girls, or he's into other things he knows you won't approve of. Whatever it is, it is obviously not something he feels comfortable sharing with you.
It's a hard thing to face. But a really nice guy would be the type to take you everywhere, or at the very least make you feel welcome. This guy is making you feel excluded and that is not right. In my opinion, this one isn't for keeps. He's using you, for whatever reasons he has, but he isn't committed to you or your relationship. My next move if I were in your shoes would be a simple one, ask him to take you along. If he refuses, dump him on the spot. He's probably not cheating but he's definitely doing something you won't like and that's bad in and of itself.
If you really feel strongly for him, you might want to let him know that this is a big problem that could end your relationship and let him decide what to do next. If he cares about you he'll do what it takes to make you happy and secure in the relationship. Then he's a keeper. If he tells you to get over it and is more concerned with his autonomy, it is clear that he isn't as committed as you. Dump him and count yourself lucky that his true colors were so obvious. Some girls get played badly before they see this type of guy in the right way. Pat yourself on the back for being so smart and move on to the next, more deserving, guy.
I'm sorry to break it to you so harshly. But when a guy is acting like that he is hiding something. Who wants a relationship based on secrets and lies?