I can’t get myself to French Kiss this guy I like a lot! I have never done it and I can’t get myself to do it. How do you do it? What else could we do to keep intimate other than sex?
A:
French Kissing is just kissing with tongue. Essentially, you kiss the person while sticking your tongue in their mouth. Yes, it’s that simple and that weird. It takes practice more to get used to how it feels than to do it right, since there really is never a wrong way to kiss. I’m willing to bet that you’ve already French Kissed your guy and just didn’t know it. Now let’s address the more pressing part of your question, building intimacy. It worries me that you think intimacy means getting physical. While it is true that the physical adds to intimacy it is by no means the most important building block. You can build intimacy without ever getting physical. Intimacy comes from connecting with another person on a deeper level; it comes from talking about your dreams, desires and fears. You grow intimate when you trust each other, when you can talk to each other and when you can share personal things about yourself with one another. Many teens confuse intimacy with sex but you can have one without the other. Talking is intimate. Walking hand in hand is intimate. Snuggling and watching TV together is intimate. Spending quality time together one on one is intimate. And yes, kissing is intimate too! Don’t worry so much about building intimacy by getting physical. As you come to know and trust each other better the intimate connection you seek will reveal itself and ironically, this will make the kissing part easier. Kissing is an expression of intimacy not a key ingredient.
