I can’t get myself to French Kiss this guy I like a lot! I have never done it and I can’t get myself to do it. How do you do it? What else could we do to keep intimate other than sex?
A:
For tips on French Kissing see our How to French Kiss list. It’s not anywhere near as intimidating as you seem to think. They key is to relax when you do it and the rest will just fall in to place. You ask what else you can do to keep intimate and I’m assuming what you mean what other physical things can you do. You can hold hands, you can cuddle, you can hug, the list is really endless. Of course, sex is one of the most physically intimate things a couple can do but I strongly feel that it is one of the last things two people should do when trying to bond as a couple. In a healthy and established relationship sex can take things to a new level, but in an immature or unstable relationship it can destroy intimacy. Sex should never be entered in to lightly and it should never be done out of fear of losing the other person. But since you’re not comfortable with kissing yet I’d say that sex is a long way a way for you. I only mention it because it should be addressed, not as a suggestion but as a warning against the real danger of doing something you are not yet ready for. If you feel pressed in to doing something, if it makes you uncomfortable, it will hurt intimacy not create it. This is as true of kissing as it is of sex. If you are not comfortable kissing, and it sounds like you’re not, forcing the issue could make you feel bad about what you are doing and this could translate in to bad feelings about the relationship in general. Really your question can be boiled down to the age-old dilemma “If I don’t get physical I may lose him” to which I always say. “Good riddance!” If your guy is as concerned about intimacy as you are he won’t want you doing ANYTHING that you are not totally at ease with. Intimacy comes naturally when two people genuinely care for and trust one another, French Kissing or no French Kissing.