I asked this girl to Prom a few months ago and she said yes. I bought our tickets and am renting my own tux but the other day she presented me with a list of my share of our Prom expenses. This girl is just a friend, she’s not my girlfriend and never has been and yet she expects me to pay for half of her dress and shoes! She also made plans to go in a limo with 3 of her friends and their dates and she wants me to pay all of the limo cost. She says the other guys are paying for their dates in the same way but I feel like she’s playing me. I don’t even know the other guys going in the limo and I hardly know her friends. What should I do? Do I really need to pay for all of this??
A:
Dude, your instincts are correct. You are being played. You need to welcome this girl to the 21st century and remind her that the year is 2006, not 1906. You mention that she is not your girlfriend like it matters. Even if she were your girlfriend she should never expect you to pay for all these things. If you decided you wanted to pay for them you could let her know and do so as a Prom gift. Do you have a crush on this girl or is she really just a friend? If you have a crush I’d say she knows it and is manipulating you because of it. I also don’t think it is right that she made plans, i.e. the limo, without consulting you. What if you had already made and paid for plans of your own. This girl is very inconsiderate and if it weren’t so late in the Prom date game I’d tell you to ditch her and find a more modern girl to take. Hey, in some ways I think you should ditch her and go stag, she is way to demanding of a guy who is just a friend, but that is really your call not mine. Here is what I think it is reasonable for her to expect you to pay for; your tux, her corsage, both Prom tickets (since you did invite her, if you decided mutually as friends to go together I would think you should each buy your own tickets), and half of your share of the limo (or 1/8 of the total since there are 8 of you) and half the cost of the official Prom picture. Anything else is unfair. She should be responsible for the following; her dress, her shoes, her accessories, her hair, her make-up, your boutonnière, 1/8th of the limo cost, and half of the official Prom photo. Stand up to this bully-girl and tell her what you are willing to pay for, even if you are willing to pay for more than I suggest. Under no circumstances should you be expected to pay for her dress or shoes even if the other guys are doing so for their dates. Have you even double-checked her story with the other guys? Do it, you might be surprised by what you find out. If it turns out she is telling the truth don’t let peer pressure force you to follow suit. Pay what YOU think is fair and what you can afford. Be strong and stand your ground, this is your Prom too and you want the memories to be good not tainted by the feeling you were played for a chump. If she breaks your date because you won’t give in to her demands consider yourself lucky, a girl this high maintenance isn’t likely to find a guy willing to give in to her this late in the game and at least you’ll save some money by going stag!
