I asked this girl to Prom a few months ago and she said yes. I bought our tickets and am renting my own tux but the other day she presented me with a list of my share of our Prom expenses. This girl is just a friend, she’s not my girlfriend and never has been and yet she expects me to pay for half of her dress and shoes! She also made plans to go in a limo with 3 of her friends and their dates and she wants me to pay all of the limo cost. She says the other guys are paying for their dates in the same way but I feel like she’s playing me. I don’t even know the other guys going in the limo and I hardly know her friends. What should I do? Do I really need to pay for all of this??
A:
Who is this girl? Paris Hilton? No, even Paris has enough class to know proper Prom etiquette. The Prom rules are as old as Prom itself and they have changed very little with time. Here’s how it works; you pay for what you wear, her corsage, and the tickets. If you make the travel arrangements then you pay for that too, otherwise that is evenly split. Everything else is either her responsibility or split 50/50 depending on what it is. The things that should be split 50/50 are; Prom photos, after prom food, and unexpected expenses or incidentals. If you decide you want to cover any of these things that is entirely at your discretion in which case they would be gifts from you to her. I agree with Mike, this is the year 2006, and the days of guys paying for all the bells and whistles is long gone. Had she asked you to Prom I would say that she was responsible for buying the tickets and paying for the transportation plans that she makes. But regardless of who did the asking she is definitely responsible for her own dress, her shoes, and her personal grooming (hair, nails, make-up, etc…). She is also responsible for buying your boutonnière, which is the flower that you wear on your lapel. This flower usually matches either her dress or her corsage. The fact that she wants you to pay for travel plans she made without even talking to you really bothers me. On this one I disagree with Mike. I think that under those circumstances she should be paying the limo cost for BOTH you. After all, you’re in a limo with HER friends and THEIR dates and not a single one of your buddies is in sight. Not cool for her to just assume you’d be OK with that. Without a doubt she should have asked you if you would mind going with her friends before finalizing her plans. Since she didn’t do this I think she should have to pay the entire limo cost. If you want to be a gentleman and split that cost with her I think that is entirely up to you. It would be a very nice gesture but it should not be expected. I don’t get girls like this one. I bet she would be livid if you had made plans to go with your friends without consulting her and I know she would have laughed in your face if you’d asked her to pay for half (forget all) of any limo you booked with them. This princess needs a wake-up call. I say you go over your budget and decide what you can afford and then let her know. If you want to pay for all her extras, that’s up to you, and if you want to cover all the limo, again, it would be a very nice gesture. But when all is said and done what she wears to Prom and how she readies herself for the big night should be entirely her own expense. You’re her date, not her personal ATM.
