1. People & Relationships

Three Things That Only Feel Like Love


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Everybody has heard of the rebound fling. This is a relationship that comes very quickly on the heels of another relationship ending. Rebounds are rarely based on love but are really a way of alleviating the loneliness people feel when a relationship ends. Even people who wanted their previous relationship to end can fall for the rebound phenomenon. Rebounding can feel like love for the simple reason that the people involved want to be in love. They are used to being in a relationship and feeling in love and more than anything else they want to feel those things again. They convince themselves they are in love when in reality they are really missing the relationship they left behind. This doesn’t necessarily mean that they want their old partner back it just means that they want to be in a relationship with somebody… and in a rebound phase that somebody could be anybody. Rebounding is shady because usually one of the people involved has genuine feelings for the other and this person ends up getting hurt when the rebounder comes to their senses (sort of speak). You can never be open to a new love when a part of you is pining for one that has been lost. Rebound relationships are really just emotional band-aids and new love can’t be found when old love wounds haven’t been given time to heal. How can you tell when enough time has passed between the end of one relationship and the beginning of another? How can you protect yourself from a rebound-based relationship? The answers are complex. There is no proven amount of time needed to move on from a relationship and for this reason it’s hard to say how one can protect themselves and their heart from a rebound. However there are some very clear signs that you (or your new beau as the case may be) aren’t quite over a lost love. If the old relationship keeps coming up or interfering with the progress of a new relationship than chances are good that you’re stuck in a rebound. If the rebounder keeps rehashing problems from the past relationship within the new relationship this is a clear sign that they haven’t moved on enough to fall in love again. Finally, if there are unresolved issues from the old relationship chances are very good that the new relationship is a rebound. Bottom line, if you feel as if the old relationship is a third party in your relationship yours is not a relationship that is based on love. You can’t find new love when you are harboring feelings for an old love or when you are longing to be in a relationship. Love can’t be forced at will, it must be found, and that can only happen for real when our hearts and minds are free.


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