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Can Guys and Girls Be Just Friends?

A Closer Look at Opposite Sex Friendships


When it comes to the question of whether or not guys and girls can be just friends there is no universal truth. In some cases guys and girls can be the best of friends but in other cases any truly platonic relationship is virtually impossible.

Whether or not a guy and a girl can be just friends depends on how the friendship started, on whether or not there is a physical attraction involved, and on the personalities of the individuals.

How Opposite Sex Friendships Work

There really is no good reason why members of the opposite sex can’t have important and close friendships with one another. Objections to these types of friendships come from a crude cultural belief that all guys view girls as sexual objects first and real people second. This is just plain stupid and does a disservice to males and females.

While there are situations where physical attraction is a factor it is rarely so overwhelming that it makes a friendship impossible. When physical attraction or lust does get in the way of being friends it isn’t always the guy who is struggling with those feelings. Yes, girls do lust after guys as much as guys lust after girls.

Whether or not that lust stifles a budding friendship or destroys an existing one is entirely dependent on the person having the feelings. Guys and girls can be friends if they really want to be friends. It only gets complicated if there is physical attraction involved that is not handled properly.

Dealing With Physical Attraction

What is the proper way of dealing with a physical attraction to a friend? You have to be up front about things. Honesty is the key.

If you feel an attraction to a friend you have to let them know and be prepared for a reaction you won’t like. If the feelings are returned that’s great, but if they are not you need to put the friendship first. You must be prepared to work through your feelings and make the friendship a priority over your broken dreams of romance.

If you are the person being admired you must be prepared to be honest about your feelings in return. If you feel an attraction as well don’t be afraid to admit it. If you are not interested be kind in your rejection. Make it clear you only want to be friends and show that you mean it by sticking by your friendship through the difficult post-declaration adjustment period.

Rules for a Successful Guy-Girl Friendship

There are some simple rules to make a guy-girl friendship a success:

  • don’t ever cross the line of friendship without realizing it may be a point of no return
  • if you know your friend has feelings for you never take advantage of those feelings
  • never give in to physical attractions without knowing that it could change the friendship forever
  • know that there will always be people who scoff at the validity of guy-girl friendships
You can be friends with anybody you want. Gender is not a deciding factor. If you meet somebody and like them as a person don’t let something as small as their sex keep you from being friends. Good friends are very hard to find.
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