Holiday Heartbreak

The only time when Valentine’s Day can really destroy a heart is when it follows closely on the tail a break-up. Never does being alone on Valentine’s Day sting more than when you wish you were with somebody specific, namely a lost love. Sure it can be lonely being single on “the day of couples” but when single is your basic state of existence the being alone-ness rarely hurts. The complete opposite is true when your heart is longing for a love you’ve recently lost or let go of. Yes, even the dumpers of the world can feel pangs of regret and loneliness on a day that is completely centered on couple-dom and being in love. So in this situation survival is really the best you can hope for. Start with the basics; keep busy, surround yourself with people who make you happy and give off positive energy, actively avoid any romantic reminders (people, places and things), and stay focused on the things that make you feel good about yourself. That said, on a painful V-Day there are certain things that you absolutely must not do. Here they are. You must not under any circumstances do any or all of the following; call your ex, call your ex and hang up, text your ex, email your ex, write a letter to your ex, send a card to your ex, in any way make contact with your ex by proxy (i.e. through your friends, his/her friends, well, really through anybody) or stalk your ex. Whether you were the dumped or the dumper these are essential Valentine’s Day survival rules that you must follow. But wait, there are more. You must not; go anywhere where you know you may run into your ex, go anywhere where you hope you may run in to your ex, or drive by your ex’s home or work. Now on a school day this may be difficult but it is still do-able. If you have classes together arrive seconds late so that you can stifle the urge to talk to your ex (yes, normally this is bad advice but even the most cold-hearted teacher will understand if you explain yourself in private at a later time), leave class quickly (and ideally surrounded by happy laughing friends), and if possible don’t walk your normal route to your next class. Avoid the regular lunch or free time hang out, it can be hard enough seeing an ex in these places when the rest of the world is not obsessed with love and lovers, but on Valentine’s Day seeing your ex acting normal and fine with the break up can be unbearable – avoid this pain. Don’t talk to your ex even if s/he tries talking to you, but be polite in your dismissal, anything that has to be said can be said on a different day. Even if you think that the talk will lead to a reunion avoid it at all costs because despite Hollywood hype it is not romantic to get back together on Valentine’s Day, if you do it will only taint many future V-Days to come. If reconciliation is real and not induced by some weird temporary Valentine’s Day insanity it will come just as easily the next day. Follow these simple rules, even the ones that seem a little paranoid or pathetic, and you will make it through this most hellish of Valentine’s Day scenarios. Rest assured that no matter how hard it may be to see yourself with somebody else right now you will live to love again on another Valentine’s Day and the pain you’re feeling now will be a thing of the past.