1. People & Relationships

Getting Him Back

A Smart Girls Guide to Winning Back Your Guy

By Tina Kells

Win Him Back Tips

There are no guarantees in life. There are only gambles. Everything in life is a gamble, even love. However, in winning the affections of another person there are a few things that almost always guarantee results. Follow these tips to woo back your man and you just may get that second chance you’re longing for. But remember, there is a fine line between wooing and stalking. If your efforts prove fruitless after a reasonable amount of time, if you find yourself consumed with winning him back at the expense of all other things, or if he repeatedly tells you to go away and you continue to pursue him you are crossing that line. Keep that in mind while following your heart (and our tips) and you’ll be fine.

Winning Him Back Essentials

Winning Him Back Essentials

  1. Forgive and forget; let go of the past and make a pledge to focus only on the future.
  2. Apologize and mean it. Admit your mistakes and regrets and affirm your commitment to making good on past wrongs.
  3. Accept that you will have to do a great deal of chasing, especially if you messed up the relationship the first time around. You will have to pull your ego in check and put your heart on the line if you are to make any progress.
  4. Don’t expect him to come running back to you just because you are putting out signals that you want him again. You want him back and you need to do the work. Call him, text him, come to him and make him feel wanted. It is the only way.
  5. Expect some rejection. When an old flame starts heating up again the person being pursued may try to get out of the fire. This doesn’t necessarily mean that he isn’t interested. It could mean that he is spooked. He may be weary of trying to be with you again out of a fear of more hurt or he may be in another relationship and his heart may be torn (in which case expect more resistance than you would experience under other circumstances). For whatever reason people rarely rush back into an ex’s arms right away. Be diligent, expect some resistance and be aware that in this endeavor your ego is going to get some bruises.
  6. Know when to give up. This is not so much indicated by the amount of time that has passed as it is an accurate reading of his true feelings. Your instincts are your best friend in this; they rarely lead you astray. Instincts often tell a truth the heart is unwilling to accept. Listen to him, listen to your gut and back off if one or both are adamantly telling you to.
  7. Be willing to settle for less. Be willing to have him in your life as a friend even if he won’t be your boyfriend. There are lots of reasons why a guy who cares for you will keep his distance after a breakup even when you are sending out all the right signals and it isn’t always as simple as him not wanting to be with you. Accept that (for now) friendship is all he has to offer you and then truly be his friend. Nothing is set in stone when it comes to love and things often feel over when they really aren’t. Sometimes the greatest loves are built on strong friendships and you can never know what the future will bring.
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