Now you are ready for the final phase, the “confrontation” phase. This is not as hostile or scary as it may sound. In this phase you do whatever it is that you fear, in your case talk to a boy you may be interested in. One thing you should always remind yourself of when talking to a potential crush is that you don’t really know this person well enough to be losing anything by losing their interest. While a crush can feel very real it is not based on anything more than simple attraction. If you can relax about what may happen then you’ll be able to focus on the moment without fear. Talk to the boy just as you would talk to a friend. Don’t worry about putting on an act or trying to impress him. Just be yourself and you’ll do fine.
As to the second part of your concern, why guys don’t come up to you, this too has little to do with your self-confidence. People who are shy often unconsciously put up a protective barrier that others easily pick up on. In order to avoid the thing they most fear shy people often appear aloof and unapproachable to others. As ironic as it may seem the fact that you are physically attractive may only make things worse. If you appear unapproachable people won’t try to talk to you, but when you factor in your above average looks that inapproachability becomes intimidating. It’s a cliché I’m sure you’ve heard before that the prettiest girls often have the fewest dates and the explanation given for this is that boys are intimidated by the girl’s good looks. There is more than a grain of truth to this. But fear not, the solution is simple; all you have to do is take down the barrier and give off a more approachable vibe.
When you face your own social phobia you will automatically seem more approachable but there are some other things you can do to put others at ease about making the effort to talk to you first. First thing you can do is smile, smile lots and at everybody you meet. You can also open up your body language; don’t cross your arms in front of you or clasp your books over your chest, don’t keep your hands behind your back, keep your head up and make friendly eye contact with the people you want to talk to, laugh, when talking to somebody put them at ease by quickly placing your hand on their arm or by smiling as they talk to you. All of these things are cues that you enjoy talking to people and that you are open to meeting new people. Be at ease with yourself (and show it) and people will be at ease with you; it's really that simple!
