Girls do it and so do guys… beat themselves up about real or perceived shortcomings in their body. Whether you really do have cause for concern or not doesn’t matter because this self-defeating behavior isn’t about what is wrong but rather it’s about how you choose to address the problem. If your body is a normal weight and you are in good health then obsessing about your body is just plain silly but if you do have real issues with your weight or health then focusing on improvement is understandable. What matters is HOW you look at the things that need to be dealt with. Do you see them as burdens to be overcome (bad) or do you look at them as challenges to meet (good)? For example, do you want to lose weight because it will add to the quality of your life (good) or so that you can fit in to the latest fashions (bad)? See the difference? If you see your body as the enemy or as something that holds you back in life you have an unhealthy body image and you need to change your way of thinking. Having a less than perfect body makes you normal not a freak. Embrace the things about yourself that you love and don’t obsess over the things that could use some work. You’ll be a happier person if you do and happy people are better able to meet their goals and appreciate their success for the incredible accomplishment that it is.
Giving in to Peer Pressure
Peer pressure is nothing new and it’s not always a bad thing but if peer pressure dominates you and makes the majority of your decisions for you then you have a problem. The desire to conform is a normal part of growing up. Even so-called non-conformist groups like “punks”, “skaters”, “anarchists” and the like, have norms that are followed. Think about how these groups dress, the music they listen to and the philosophies of life that they adhere to and you can see that rejecting the mainstream and being non-conformist are not the same thing. Peer pressure is just as strong in these groups as in mainstream culture and when that pressure leads you to do dangerous, criminal or self-destructive things then it is just plain bad. Peer pressure feeds on insecurity and low self-confidence and the best way you can beat it is to like yourself. When you are comfortable with who you are and know your boundaries peer pressure doesn’t stand a chance and believe it or not, people will still like you even if you don’t follow the pack. So learn to make up your own mind and follow your inner voice. It may be hard at first to go against the grain but if you know that peer pressure is making you do something wrong you need to take a stand.
Comparing Yourself to Others
You can’t be the best at everything, nor should you want to be. Overachievers are few and far between and the vast majority of us human beings do not excel at anything. Sure, everybody is good at something and lots of people are good at more than one thing but very few people ever rise to the status of the very best. This is not a bad thing; it is a normal thing. The sooner you see your successes in life as a series of personal bests rather than a contest with other people the better off you’ll be. You should only ever be in competition with yourself. Even in sports, academic challenges and the workplace you should never look at other people as your competition. While you may be competing against somebody in a given event the only win that matters is the one you rack up against yourself. Look at it this way; say you’re a runner and your best time ever is a 7-minute mile. You enter a mile long race and come in first place over 199 other people but your time is 9 minutes. If you measure yourself against other people you did great and beat out a whole bunch of other hopefuls. You’re the best, a winner! But are you really? Your best time ever is 2 minutes faster than the time it took you to win the race. Wouldn’t it be a greater success for you to have run against nobody else but have finished the mile in 6 minutes? If you think “no” then you need to change the way you measure your successes in life because using other people to determine your own worth is a very self defeating way of living. No matter how good you are, even if you are currently the best, somebody is bound to come along sooner or later who is better than you are. This is why world records are always being set and broken, and will continue to be set and broken as long as the records are kept. There will always be somebody who is nicer, smarter, cuter, faster, in short better, than you. This is a cruel fact of life. Don’t worry about being the best, worry about being the best you can be. It makes for so many more successes in life and you’ll be a happier person for it.