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Does Sex Hurt the First Time You Have It?

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Question: Does Sex Hurt the First Time You Have It?

I'm not sexually active yet, but I'm still nervous and kind of scared about having sex because I'm told it hurts. My boyfriend and I plan on waiting until we are older, and he says he will be as gentle as he possibly can, but I'm still scared!

Answer: It's true, sex can hurt the first time - not only because the tearing of your hymen can cause you some discomfort (keep in mind, though, that your hymen might already have torn at some point in your life), but because, well, sex for women isn't usually all that pleasurable until they've had some experience with it.

What feels good to some women won't feel good to others, and the feeling of having a penis in your vagina can be unpleasant or even kind of painful until you figure out what feels good for you. Sex won't always be such a drag, but your first couple of experiences are more likely to be awkward than fun.

That's why it's so important to have sex for the first time (and first several times, really) with someone who respects you, and who will slow down or stop altogether if you ask him to. You can learn a little more about what I mean in this article:

The 10 Signs You're Ready to Have Sex

xo,
Holly

Note: this was a real question left by a real person in the Teen Advice Forum! (It's been shortened for the purposes of this article.) If you want to give her your own advice, leave it here. Or if you want to ask the forum your own question, come visit the forum.
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