It is important for you to know that when you visit your non-custodial parent things may seem less strict because you are visiting and the day-to-day stressors of raising and shaping you don’t come in to play in quite the same way. You will likely find that a change in custody will be followed by a change in rules at the new home. Once the non-custodial parent becomes the custodial parent big changes occur. For one, they get to know you better and see how you conduct yourself during routine life. They get to see your habits, your friends and your lifestyle in ways that they probably don’t see them when you are just a visitor. They also become the parent primarily responsible for disciplining you, for dealing with your school and for giving your life structure and guidance. This change in responsibility will naturally be followed by a change in how things work within the household. Right now your non-custodial parent may be less critical of your friends, your steady or your lifestyle for the very simple reason that they don’t know any better. Once they are more immersed in your life you may find that they react very similarly to the way your current custodial parent acts. Be warned that if you are running from one home because you are not getting your way there you may very quickly find that you don’t get your way in the new house as well. Parents are not stupid and if they are being very strict, especially if in the past they have been lenient, there is probably a good reason that you are unable or unwilling to see.
When all is said and done a change in custody is not always a bad thing. There are many circumstances under which the change is acceptable or even desirable. You need to look at the reasons why you want the change and you need to do so in an unemotional and logical fashion. Try talking to other trusted adults about why you want to make the move, a school counselor, teacher or church leader is a good choice, and see how they react. Since they lack the emotional perspective they are able to see things you may be unable to and their reaction is a good indication of how the courts would see things. This is not a decision that can be made lightly or on a whim. It must not be made as an emotional reaction or in response to something your custodial parent has done that you merely do not like. The decision to move should never be made in anger. Your reasons must be well thought out and based on what is best not just what you want in the moment. When it comes to custody of you there are many things that matter more than which parent lets you get your way most often. Life is full of rules and restrictions; a change in custody should not be about circumventing these things but rather about giving you new opportunities or a chance at bettering yourself. Good luck!
