Help! My Parents Don't Get Me!

Question: Help! My Parents Don't Get Me!

My parents drive me crazy! They don't "get" me. It's like we're opposites. I try to talk to them, but they don't want to hear it. If something bad happens to me, I bet they wouldn't care. All I want is for them to understand me and be there for me, but they always want to make decisions for me without talking about it first. It's so frustrating!

Answer: It's so, so normal as a teen to feel like you have nothing in common with your parents, like they're trying to steer you in a direction that you don't want to go. But what can you do about it? You can't change the way they feel, and you certainly don't want to change your own personality.

You'll eventually get to a point where you and your parents can coexist with love and understanding...but probably not till you're older. Until then, here's the best you can do:

1. Learn to share your differences of opinion in a mature, respectful way. Here's how.
   
   
2. Pick your battles. Not everything needs to turn into an argument. In fact, you'll be a lot happier in the long run if you cool off and walk away.
   
   
3. Remember that even though you have your differences, your parents still love you and would be devistated if anything bad happened to you. Seriously. You can act like that isn't true, but deep down, I think you know it is.
   
   
4. Whenever your folks are stressing you out, keep in mind that in a couple of years this'll all fade away and you'll be able to make decisions for yourself. You're not trapped in this forever. Be patient.

xo,
Holly

Note: this was a real question left by a real person in the Teen Advice Forum! (It's been edited a little for the purposes of this article.) If you want to give her your own advice, leave it here. Or if you want to ask the forum your own question, come visit the forum.