Who Was It With?
A friend from my homeschool science group.
When Did You Realize It was Love?
I had always "liked" him, I don't know when it became more.
What Did It Feel Like?
When I was about seven, I was homeschooled. Every Friday I would go to a science group with some other homeschoolers. One of them was a boy my age named Matt. We were friends, but I liked him. I kept thinking more and more about him. I would wonder about how to impress him, what to dress like around him, how to make him laugh (he was quite the comedian for his age). He was always on my mind, and it was almost an obsession for me. Even though I was young, I can honestly say that what I was feeling was about as close to love as a seven year old could be. Finally I snapped and decided to say something.
What Happened Next?
One day, at the end of group, Matt and I were the last ones walking out to the cars. When we had left the room and were walking down the hallway, I stopped him and told him I had something to say. I leaned in and whispered that I was in love with him, in his ear. He, being the goofball he was, put on this dazed smile and pretended to run into a door. I giggled and walked out to the cars. When we went to our cars we waved goodbye.
After this though, he barely talked to me. We never brought it up again. Actually, if he were to ever bring it up again, I would deny it happened.
He practically ignored me, and if I tried to talk to him he would act really awkward. Eventually I realised he wasnt going to acknowledge anything, so I avoided him too. This is easier said than done because I was in a church group with his little sister, and we both roller skated at the same rink. Thankfully, the next year I went to public school, so I barely saw him at all.
Now I'm thirteen, and looking back, he had never broken my heart. Probably becase he never actually said anything back to encourage me, or discourage me, and it was still sort of a mystery. I no longer feel attracted to him, but whenever I think about it I still feel sad.
I have a feeling that I'll never forget Matt.
Lessons Learned
- I guess the lesson learned here is that everyone has to make that leap sometime, no matter how old you are, and it won't always work out.
- So whenever It dosen't, you just have to accept it and move on. You never actually have to forget the person, so long as you don't keep being upset over what should have happend but didn't. Next time it might just happen how you want.