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"I was Completely Frozen When I Read It"

Share Your Story: My First Love

By smileekyliee

Who Was It With?

my ex-boyfriend. :/

When Did You Realize It was Love?

when i listened to a song "anywhere but here" by safetysuit.

What Did It Feel Like?

Wow, so many emotions!! Literally, one extreme to another. I was happy that I had those feelings, I felt light on my feet, head in the clouds, I only thought of him. His face, his laugh, the way he held me, his soft words, his kisses....I knew I was in love. And then I was so scared that he didn't feel the same way and never would. And confused because I've never felt this way for a person, and I didn't think you can fall in love without dating the person.

What Happened Next?

A few moths later, on facebook, he said, "You are the best. After me and my ex broke up, I didn't think love existed anymore...but you showed me it does. You comforted me and everything...and now...I love you <3 that is why you are the best<3 you have no idea how much you have helped me and how happy you make me. I can go on and on and on about how make me feel...about all the little details I love...and how I feel about you." I was completely frozen when I read that. I was so happy he felt this way, I wanted to hear his voice. So I called him and said, "I love you so much." He took a big breath and said it out loud too :) I will never forget how beautiful it sounded when he said I love you. A few weeks later we started dating, but only for 3 weeks. Then he broke up with me, he said maybe he took things too fast and he needed to be single for a while longer. I was so devastated, I was numb inside for like a week, it was horrible. Ever since we broke up, he wasn't the same guy I fell in love with. Which made it more awful because I still love...the old him. Sometimes I see glimpses of that, but I know it is gone :( He is a total jerk now, he hooks up with a lot of girls, one was my friend. He parties a lot, goes out every weekend till like 5 and drinks. He doesn't seem happy, but he puts a smile on his face, but I can't get to him. I've tried to tell him how he was hurting me, but he just got annoyed with me and pushed me farther away. I've lost a lot of respect and trust from him...but I still think of those happy times every single day, still wishing his old self would come back and everything would be okay. He would care for me again. Or at least think of me. :/

Lessons Learned

  • Make sure you are ready before you tell someone you love them.
  • Falling in love is the best feeling in the world, but it can also be the worst. It hurts really bad to fall.
  • You can't help someone that doesn't want help.
  • Try not to fall too fast, and if you do, make sure you know EVERYTHING about the person you love. So you have trust.
  • It is hard to move on, but you can't hurt yourself thinking about once was every day. It's bad for you.
  • If you found once, you can find it again.
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