Who Was It With?
A ninth-grade boy in the grade above me.
When Did You Realize It was Love?
A year after I met him.
What Did It Feel Like?
I felt sad and happy at the same time, and I felt no embarrassment at all like I usually do concerning crushes. I didn't think about lust so much as how I liked his personality. I felt sad because I felt like I would never be as good as he was, but I felt happy, too, because out of all the girls he could have liked, he liked me. I guess that was really the reason why I liked him in the first place.
What Happened Next?
...But then I realized he was so much better than I was. I'm not saying this in a way to show my lack of self-confidence, but he really was much better than I was. He was one of those borderline genius types, yet was fine socially except he was occasionally susceptible to bragging, but at least he had a reason for it and wasn't one of those delusional braggarts. He was good at pretty much everything he attempted, from sports to academics to music. No, we did not date (14 is a bit young, isn't it?) and can barely even be considered friends. We're acquaintances on the level of making eye contact in the hallways and smiling. We don't even say hello to each other, which I'm not sure is such a polite thing on my part. But we have our own separate lives, and even though he was the first person I <3ed and not lusted for, there'll always be another, won't there?
Lessons Learned
- Nothing comes from high school crushes.
- You can always talk to your adviser if anybody's stalking you. That person will be suspended temporarily and then won't stalk you again.
- Try to be the best person you can be, that way you'll meet other people who are the best when you're older and won't feel like a piece of crap.
- Don't lead someone on. Avoiding him/her could definitely be interpreted as leading him/her on.
- Don't obsess over a person. GFs/BFs hardly matter in high school.