Who Was It With?
John
When Did You Realize It was Love?
When I first kissed him.
What Did It Feel Like?
When I first met John, I didn't even think it was going to go anywhere. He was just some guy in my neighborhood. He randomly came up to me because there was a party at my house and he was there (it was a party for my step dad's b-day). I was a freshman, and he was in 8th grade, but we were both 14. Then he added me on myspace, and exchanged numbers, and then we decided to get together and hang out, just the 2 of us. So when we did, we ended up kissing. I mean duh, he's a boy and I'm a girl and we're alone. After I kissed him, I felt something so strong, that I knew at that moment he was all I wanted.
What Happened Next?
John's and my relationship didn't end up being short term. It was loooong term. In fact, it's been over 2 years and we still like each other. Our relationship and what we have done has affected my reputation at school because so many people know about us. Many many problems revolve around the fact we want to be together. 1. my mom hates him. She doesn't like his rep. She grounds me when she finds out I have been with him. 2. All my best friends hate him, because they think I deserve better. 3. My step brother is his friend, if he finds out we are seeing each other, he will get really mad. So yeah. We pretty much have to sneak around to see each other. A lot of people think it's like the Romeo and Juliet kind of teenage love story, and I have to agree. I have seen other guys and he has been with other girls. We both know that, but that's 'cause we cannot publicly date, so it's okay. But no matter what other guy I hook up with, I always wish it was him. There's something about him that just draws me to him. I crave being by his side. We used to go to the river in the neighborhood to be together because no one could see us, and then tell my mom I've been with a guy she hates. We would stay there for hours sometimes. Then we got the idea to start seeing each other after dark, and it's been a great idea. I would sneak out some nights and go to his house for a few hours, even on a school night sometimes. Yes, I would be tired the next day, but it would be so totally worth it. I gave up my virginity to him, but that's only 'cause I personally decided to. He didn't pressure me into doing it. I just wanted him to be my first. I see him at school and we don't talk, I just pass him in the hallway and when I do, my legs become weak and my arms start shaking and my heart starts to beat really fast. There's absolutely nothing I can do about it. A lot of his friends and my friends know about us. I know he tells his friends about me, but I honestly don't care, 'cause I wanna be the girl he's talking about. I love this guy soo much I would risk my mom's trust for him. I mean he's not even THAT amazing, he is not prince charming. But I cannot help it. I'm just in love with this guy, in love with the feelings he gives me and how good he makes me feel when we are together. I can't picture my life without him 'cause he has made me part of who I am today, and I know I will remember him the rest of my life.
Lessons Learned
- What I've learned in this relationship is if you truly want to be happy, you need to follow your heart rather than your head.
- He has taught me to have as much fun while your still young, because we sure as hell can't go back.
- You should be able to love who you want, don't let others tell you otherwise, because they will NEVER feel the way you do.
- Loving someone isn't about finding the perfect person. It's about finding an imperfect person perfectly.
- Don't go out looking for love. Let it come to you. Most of the time u will fall in love when you least expect it.