Readers Respond: What's the Best Way to Get Over a Breakup?

Responses: 25

From Holly Ashworth, former About.com Guide

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Got some advice for the just-been-dumped? Help ease their pain with some advice for how to get over it.

I have tried all the steps, it's been 7 years, I still miss him. We always seem to bump into each other lately, he is always where I am working. I have made a life and a family with someone else but I can tell you now that there is not one day that went by in the 7 years that I have not thought about him and missed him.
—Guest Jenni

I say what is meant to be will be, and you can think about it like this: you spared years of heartache and pain for yourself. It's better to have another chance at live verses living a lie. I know it's cliche but what doesn't kill us makes us stronger, and we learn. We learn from our relationship mistakes what not to do anymore. And last but not least, "Somebody love you baby"!
—Guest Mercedez

Remember that if it's not meant to be then it isn't meant to be, and that there is someone else waiting for you and someday when you find the right person it will be worth it.
—Guest brokengirl

I'm guessing that you're thinking about this person all day every day. That's the reason that the break-up is so hard on you. My advice? Plan fun things to do with your friends and/or family. Don't stress or worry about something that you can not control. Rather, focus on what you do have; the family that loves you and cares for you and the friends who only want the best for you. You'll find love and encouragement from friends and family. They will always be there. Best of luck to you.
—Guest Andrew

I honestly think this was really helpful. It's been a year and I haven't gotten over him. I did most of the stuff that you guys said to do, I changed. I also tried forming a friendship - cept he rejected me...his loss. He said A LOT of horrible stuff to me, and I still like him. We lasted for 5 months and 2 weeks...yet I thought it's been forever. I need help. Most of my friends think I'm over him...When I clearly am not.
—Guest BrokenHeartedGirl

I've had some pretty rough break ups. Two I lived with and broke up with. You forget about yourself sometimes when your used to saying "we" and "our". Now it's just "you" and "I" which makes exciting but depressing. Love hurts but what you learn is worth it. Now you get the opportunity to focus more your goals, rejuvenate yourself as you go through the stages of break up, reconnect with friends, and even focus on work. Staying productive and energetic about your life is key. I always tell myself, "Had my share of laughs, tears, but no regrets." just be honest to yourself and take care of that broken heart. You will find the right guy or girl. Time helps with that. Good luck!
—Guest Professional Dater

Think about it for 5 seconds and let it go. If that doesn't work. BURN HIS STUFF!
—Gabbydoo

This might sound crazy, but try it - get out there. The initial reaction of a break up is anger and loneliness, and hanging out with other people (maybe even flirting!) really does make things better.
—Guest Leanna

Right after it happens, eat lots of ice cream :D it helps more than you think. Blow off some steam by venting to friends, writing it out, etc. and when you stop hating him, try to be friends. I think it's waste of a friendship to just forget about the guy. It might be awkward at first but it can definitely be done. If he doesn't want to be friends with you then whatever, you tried and he's just being a jerk.
—Guest tokornot

My experience tells me to change something in my life, to make new things. For example, find a new hobby or change my hairstyle, it always works and helps to increase my self esteem and meet new people. And, remember, this is not the end of the world, it could be much worse!
—Guest panda

Bear on your mind that if others do the same way to move on, so you can't do it. Don't be so emotional, you can't truly be happy if you won't help yourself. To be sad is just a normal thing, but to be miserable...don't be crazy!!! That's your choice...
—Guest sheela:)

*licking your wound: you need to let it sink in and deal with it, cry yourself to sleep, take it out on a teddy bear or a wall, do what it takes (not more than 5 days) *rewind yourself: and with this I mean see what went wrong, who was to blame, and make your peace… learn from his/her mistakes and yours (life is a an endless school :D) * talk it out: find a good friend who can listen to you, and talk it out and maybe you’ll see sth new(you found someone who care…just don’t drive them crazy k XD) * it’s you time now: get out, hang with your friends and find new ones, do fun things together, flirt with boys/girls for the sake of fun, do things you like, draw, write things, cook, or enroll yourself with some class or sth, life is not about finding who you are its about building who you are (Just be a better you) * sit your wings free: once you’re over it… well… it up to you now, what do you want do? What are your hopes and dream? Nothing is impossible; it never was and never will be…
—Alexandeia_J

When my first love broke up with me - I was devasated. I thought I'd never love anyone again. A couple months later, I hardly think of him. And when I do, I'm not cynical or depressed. Occupy your mind. Pick up a new hobby. DO NOT facebook stalk them. listening to music helped me alot.
—Guest ChanChan

Getting over a breakup just plain sucks. There isn't really a better way to put it. Getting over a guy who you really like is super hard, but you have to. You just gotta take your mind off him/her. Hang out with your other friends. Enjoy life. I always lay in my room and just listen to music. BUT....whatever you do, don't get another bf/gf to replace tho previous one. It just causes problems that you don't need.
—Guest Heather

The best way to get over a breakup is to find someone new, even if you're not with them. You can be with the new person and forget all about the old one.
—Guest Makayla

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